Help !

I am being held hostage. I know not where or who by. All I know is that I am tied to a radiator in a dimly lit garden shed with a 9ft inflatable parsnip named Jeremy staring menacingly at me all hours of the day and night and that there is a constant but faint smell of cheap riesling about the place.

Empty Bargain Booze bags litter the floor.

There is a computor with internet access. It's taken me months to guess the password.

Blue Nun 4ever

Can you guess by the above where I might be.

I heard somebody outside muttering something about 138 being a record. I'm guessing that that's the number of goals England have conceded in the World Cup or the number of bottles of cheap cb Bacchus has opened in one night.

Please send a rescue mission ....and some Saint Clair Oh Block 6

Ta

G

Welcome back sir!

MSB has been missing it's champion on here
hope all has been well?

* Inflatable parsnips, and fairy dust all over the fields.... At Glasto with GK's bruvver, it does wot it sez on the tin.

** In SA at the WCF - locked in a shed with Jeremy - the mind boggles, cant get Oh Block 6 in SA or Glasto

A few new NZ sauvignon blancs for you to file -

Split Rock SB 2009 from Nelson is different and quite nice. Oldest winery in Nelson.

Mission Estate SB greenmeadows 2009 from oldest winery in Hawkes Bay and in NZ. This wine is quite Loire on steroids in style. It needs loads of time, like one or two ripe Haut Poitou. It has good texture, with a sappy end note that is not integrated with the flavour and appears at first glass a little sour - particularly - if you'd just finished the dregs of a bottle of the Ned. I reckon it will come round in 12 months. Just now, the note is like pulling up ground elder in Spring - sappy

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Duncan

Does it have nice rubber walls, and warders with tennis bats???

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Four wheels move the body - 2 wheels move the soul.

He aint in my shed, no radiator, just a home-made brazier.

Thought you could steal my Firefinch, didnt you?

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Yep, Im still here.

Ta, Shez.

Warders with tennis bats.

Sharapove and Jankovic.

If only !

home made brazier smacks of joanna lumley.

Now that I'm an expert on wigs, have you noticed that her hair always LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME. Sorry to dampen the vision boys. Probably just a great hairdresser (in the desert).

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mel

Explain yourself woman.

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Yep, Im still here.

In one of her travel programmes - possibly she was on a desert island - she made a pair of shoes out of a bra.

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mel

Brassiere:


Brazier:


Although two very different things, both are suitable for keeping your hands warm on a cold night.

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Yep, Im still here.

arf

there's a dreadful joke in there about me and a one-armed bandit, but let's not go there.

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mel